Train Goddess

Why can't this ever happen to me on the train?





According to the ChicagoNow article and Gawker report:

After jumping the turnstile at the Granville station of Chicago's Red Line — the Chicago Transit Authority's busiest line — and slapping several commuters, a fully nude woman announced that she was taking over the train and was heading to the front to drive it.
Calling herself "The Goddess of the Train" according to eyewitnesses, the unidentified 31-year-old ordered all passengers off, causing a 15-to-30-minute delay in service this past Saturday
DNAInfo Chicago reports that police arrived at the scene around 12:45 p.m, and escorted the woman off the train.
She was subsequently transported to St. Francis Hospital in Evanston for evaluation.
A police spokeswoman said the woman suffers from a mental illness, but would not specify.

I literally have no idea what I would say to her in that situation. Apparently some girls just wanna have fun.