Friday, October 24, 2014

Bueller? Bueller?

I don't call into work all that often, as the nature of my profession (and good health! knock on wood) doesn't really allow me to, but if I were going to, I might use one of these.



According to Career Builder, here's a list of the top 10 most unbelievable excuses used this year for calling in sick.

When asked to share the most dubious excuses employees have given for calling in sick, employers reported hearing the following real-life examples:
-Employee just put a casserole in the oven.
-Employee's plastic surgery for enhancement purposes needed some "tweaking" to get it just right.
-Employee was sitting in the bathroom and her feet and legs fell asleep. When she stood, up she fell and broke her ankle.
-Employee had been at the casino all weekend and still had money left to play with on Monday morning.
-Employee woke up in a good mood and didn't want to ruin it.
-Employee had a "lucky night" and didn't know where he was.
-Employee got stuck in the blood pressure machine at the grocery store and couldn't get out.
-Employee had a gall stone they wanted to heal holistically.
-Employee caught their uniform on fire by putting it in the microwave to dry.
-Employee accidentally got on a plane.

Thursday, October 23, 2014

High Life Heist

YOU MESS WITH HIGH LIFE, YOU MESS WITH ME.

Well, kinda. 


Van Thomas was trying to live the American dream. After years as a trucker, he bought a semi three weeks ago and started a company of his own.

Thomas was traveling from Texas to Pompano Beach and was on his last stop before a delivery in Orlando when his entire truck and alcohol cargo was stolen.

"I don't mean to cry about it but I'm just trying to do the best I can and make a better life," Thomas told WFTV.

Inside the truck was 44,000 pounds of Miller High Life, which comes out to about 9,700 four-packs.


Just when Thomas thought he lost everything, he received a phone call telling him the truck and most of the cargo had been located.

"Oh, my God. That's beautiful," he said.

The call came in from detectives that the truck had been found in Miami.

I'm not sure I see the upside to stealing 38,000 beers. It's not like you're gonna be able to sell them second hand, and you can't even make a dent in the supply before it goes skunky. Glad the guy got his truck back though, even though only "most" of the beers were returned.

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Jesus pay my tab

I don't think "Jesus take the wheel" and "Jesus pay my tab" have the same sentiment.

Oklahoma's KOKH TV reports that after drinks and a meal Kristi Rhines told workers at a restaurant in Lawton that Jesus Christ would pick up her tab. Apparently, she explained that she was married to Jesus and that he would enter the restaurant with the money. Police were called to the scene and confirmed that Rhines didn't have any cash on hand to pay the bill. She was arrested on a fraud charge.


Married to Jesus. Hmmm. If that excuse doesn't work in the south, I doubt it'd work anywhere.

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Eddie Vedder

Eddie Vedder is the man.

vedder gossard
Photo/OnMilwaukee.com

Plenty of Packers players took in Pearl Jam's show at the Bradley Center in Milwaukee last night, and they got Eddie, a diehard Bears fan, to rock the Green and Gold.

Even though Matt Flynn was there, and having a great time, it wasn't his #10 jersey that Vedder was wearing. It was one that the Packers players had made up in honor of Pearl Jam's debut album.

Aaron Rodgers said that the show was "unbelievable." Check out the review here.

Monday, October 20, 2014

Football weekend

I was emotionally invested in two football games this weekend, and it's crazy how different my emotions towards both ended up playing one. 

Let's first start with the second one: Green Bay vs. Carolina on Sunday afternoon. It was a case of Aaron Rodgers being on his game, the defensive front making plays and the Lambeau crowd taking the Panthers completely out of the game. The game was over as soon as Jordy Nelson beat Roman Harper for the 59-yard touchdown pass early in the first quarter. Carolina stood no chance of coming back. Five touchdowns by five different Green Bay players. I even fell asleep for a bit in the third quarter. The Packers took care of business, and it was relatively drama free.

How good was James Starks on Sunday? (photo/Racine Journal Times)

The first game I watched start to finish was the Notre Dame vs Florida State game on Saturday night. I'm a huge ND football fan, so it was a game I had not only been anticipating all week, but all season as well. A chance to knock off the defending champs on the road doesn't come around too often. The Fighting Irish played extremely well, and had the ball in their hands with a chance to win the game with the clock winding down. High. Drama. I was as tense as I've been in a long time (well, probably since the Packers beat the Dolphins last week, but who's keeping track, anyways) and I even had a brief moment of exuberance! before it was wrenched away from my leaping heart. (Right or wrong, HOW DO YOU CALL THAT PENALTY THERE. Jeeze.) As the 4th and goal pass from the 18 fluttered into the FSU defender's arms, I went silent. No yelling, no groaning in discontent. It was crushing. All I did was make a stiff whiskey drink and watch the Food Network. Ugh. I spent a good deal of Sunday and this morning reading about the game and the last call and the game winning play that wasn't, and it's no less crushing than it was a day-and-a-half ago. So this is me venting. Grrrrr.

The game winning touchdown that wasn't. (photo/RedEye Chicago)


Friday, October 17, 2014

Gone Girl

I went to go see Gone Girl last night at Marcus Cinemas, and I was very excited to do so.

I had some pretty high expectations based off of what people had been saying on social media, and for the most part, the movie lived up to the hype it had been getting. I did have a few takeaways, however...


1) The movie had me checking my phone to see what time it is, which I take as an indication that it might be a bit too long.

2) On the same token, I still wanted more from the movie. There were certain aspects of plot points that I want elaborated upon, but alas, they didn't come. The movie probably would have been much better as an HBO miniseries, but as a friend told me this morning, what good movie wouldn't? (I should probably read the book.)

3) David Fincher is the man. There's just something to the way he shoots movies. Wow.

4) The acting was actually really good. Ben Affleck was awesome, Rosamund Pike wasn't someone I knew but I thought she was also very good. NPH worked in his role, and I came away really liking Tyler Perry as well.

5) I'm not sure it's good enough to come away with any of the top Oscar wins, but it was good enough for some nominations and maybe a win for cinematography or something like that.

All in all, it's a captivating story line that was done well. Worth a few hours at the theatre.

Thursday, October 16, 2014

EBOLA

I really hope we look back at Ebola and can say it was much like the swine flu, the bird flu, anthrax and SARS in that it wasn't nearly as bad as it could have been.

Unsurprisingly, there are people trying to profit from the craze or hysteria or whatever you want to call it.

I wonder how many of these I'll see out and about for Halloween.

costume

If you need to re-use your Breaking Bad-themed outfit, this might be the way.

Read more about strange Ebola related items for sale here: http://mashable.com/2014/10/16/ebola-panic-fueling-rise-in-alarmist-products/