Friday, August 29, 2014


Are guys supposed to know how to iron? I don't mean for that to sound sexist, but where do I go to learn? Sure, my mother taught me when I was a freshman in high school, pressing a shirt for homecoming, but since then, I've just been winging it.

I had to iron a dress shirt and a pair of pants for my brother's wedding this weekend and I really had no idea what I was doing. I basically tried to find a wrinkled area, lay it flat, and hammer it with the hot iron. I don't think I ruined the shirt, but I definitely didn't do a professional job.

I opted to really slack off and not do the sleeves or the back of the pants because, come on, out of sight, out of mind, right? I'll have a suit coat on and then when I inevitably take it off, I'll be rolling up the sleeves.

These are my thoughts. I didn't burn myself either, so that's a plus.

Thursday, August 28, 2014

LFL Brawl


You might have to wait a week for the "real" thing, but until then, here's a brawl from the Lingerie Football League to help whet your appetite for pigskin.

WARNING: There is some cursing in this video. Those bitches be swearing.

Tuesday, August 26, 2014


America has the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge. Japan has, well, this.

According to the Herald Sun

A group of Japanese porn actresses are preparing to have their breasts squeezed by fans for 24 hours this weekend for a charity event loosely translated as "Boob Aid".

The nine adult movie stars told local media on Monday they could barely contain their excitement about the "Stop! AIDS" campaign event — which will be televised live — but asked, perhaps somewhat optimistically: please be gentle.

Apparently this has been going on since 2003. And SHOCKER - it's successful.

From Uproxx (with pictures!): 

For a minimum donation of 1,000 Yen (about $10) visitors to the company's Shinjuku studio in Tokyo met face-to-face with and got to grab the exposed chests of five anchors of the channel's naked news programme. The event - the eighth annual '24-Hour TV: Eroticism Saves the Earth Telefon' - began on Saturday morning and raises around two million Yen (just shy of $20k) every year by offering direct interaction between its leading ladies and he public.

As long as it raises money for a good cause, I guess I'm in favor?

Monday, August 25, 2014

Olivia and Aaron, sitting in a tree

If Aaron Rodgers is happy, then I'm happy. And what about this doesn't make you happy?


On the right is Aaron's girlfriend, the lovely and talented Ms. Olivia Munn.

Green and gold suits you quite well, ma'am.

Thursday, August 21, 2014

The Simpsons

Cable TV is about to get a little yellow for the next few weeks, thanks to everyone's favorite Springfield residents.

Per the Washington Post:

When FXX starts airing every single episode in a row beginning Thursday morning, it will shatter the record for the longest-running marathon in TV history.

The animated classic kicks off with the pilot from December 1989 at 10 a.m. The marathon continues through all 552 episodes, going all the way up to the 25th season finale that aired this past spring, and ends Sept. 1 at 11:30 p.m. Wedged between all the episodes is "The Simpsons" movie, which will be shown at 6 p.m. Aug. 29.

After the marathon is all said an done, there's going to be a website where all 552 episodes will be able to be streamed for free, online. Which is neat.

This is a clip from one of my favorite episodes. Obviously it fits in with classic rock. 

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Foo Fighters

Dave Grohl is the man. Here's the Foo Fighters' take on the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge.

C'mon NIU

College is idealistically about learning and knowledge and all that hippie mumbo jumbo, so what Northern Illinois University is doing is wrong.

According to Betabeat:
Northern Illinois University enacted an Acceptable Use Policy that goes further than banning torrents, also denying students access to social media sites and other content the university considers "unethical" or "obscene".

So, you're in college, and you can't connect with people on Facebook while using the WiFi in the dorms. You also can't do anything "political" on the internet, limiting a group of very impressionable young voters. 

But WORST OF ALL, is that NIU is apparently banning Wikipedia as well. Which is a shame, because Wikipedia is amazing in every possible way.

I'd like to think no students is dumb enough to actual quote an editable article like Wikipedia, but any college kid worth a damn knows how to work the sources at the bottom of a Wiki page to get what they need. College would have sucked for me without Wikipedia.

Boo you, NIU. Boooooooooo.

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Yelling at TV

I got into a conversation today with an old friend about yelling at televisions, and it got very interesting.

Let me explain.

He's in my fantasy football league, and named his team "Bush Push", which was a a direct knock at me, a big Notre Dame fan, but also clever because he has Reggie Bush on his team.

(If you want to read more on that whole incident:

That strikes a chord with me because that was probably up there with the times I've yelled at the TV in terms of duration and decibel level.


Other games that come to mind:

When Ryan Braun did this:

And especially when Ryan Braun did this:

And when Aaron Rodgers did this:

Number one is for a play I was furious at, while 2-3-4 are all plays that brought out a jubilant nature.

His counter was that his roommate in college was from Boston, and he had to watch the World Series with him. Which would have been cool. But I think I still win.

Monday, August 18, 2014


I know that you probably don't care about my golf game, but I'm going to write about it anyways.

Saturday was my first day off in months. Nowhere to drive to, no baseball games, no weddings. So a buddy and I played 18 holes of golf Saturday morning and it was fantastic. Here's why.

First off, I had been struggling with my driver for quite some time, to a point where I didn't even hit it the last nine holes I played. I hit 5-wood off the first two tees and then my buddy gave me one little tip after imploring that I hit my driver off the next tee.

Sure enough, something clicked and I started booming the ball off the tee. And it's funny what that bit of confidence can do to your golf game. I started chipping better and putting better, and when it was all said and done, I had the best score of my life.

I mark down on the scorecard what I get for each hole but I restrain myself from tallying up my score until the very end. Bad luck or something, because I was stoked to find out I shot an 86. Probably not as good as your best round, but it was literally seven shots better than my previous best of 93.

So there. I'm bragging, but I don't care. And I'll probably shoot 100 next time out. Oh well.

Thursday, August 14, 2014


As someone who not only holds a degree in English, but also as someone who works with words every day, I hate this news story that comes every year.

That story? The words that are added to the Oxford Dictionary. This year's group is especially bad.

Here's the list, via Quartz

hot mess
hot diggity
cord cutter

Wednesday, August 13, 2014


I went to go see Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles at Marcus Cinemas last night and I came away not hating it, which is better than I thought going in. I was a huge fan of the TMNT franchise as a kid and so I figured, why not give it a whirl? I also don't really like Megan Fox, so for her to be in the lead was another hurdle that I had to get over, but all in all, the movie was pretty good.

You can't go in with extremely high expectations, but if you're able to kick back and enjoy a wholly unrealistic tale about vigilante adolescent turtles, well then, it's pretty good. It's very Michael Bay-esque (EXPLOSIONS!!!) but there aren't many glaring plot holes that stick out like a sore thumb. The Turtles aren't too strange looking and there are enough decent action scenes and comic one-liners to make it worth it.

It's not going to win any awards, but it's satisfying from a nostalgic action movie experience. And I'd recommend seeing it in theaters, if you can, rather than waiting for Redbox.

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Robin Williams

As tragic as the apparent suicide of Robin Williams was, I was pleasantly surprised by the outpouring of support that I saw in social media from people of all age ranges. He starred in such a wide array of movies (and TV shows) that had profound impacts on people's lives.

From Aladdin to Good Will Hunting, with Dead Poets Society and Mrs. Doubtfire mixed in as well, there aren't many people that weren't profoundly impacted by his movies.

For me, that movie was Hook. It was a movie that I would watch as a kid, and my brothers and cousins and I would make a "pirate ship" - a.k.a. a fort in our basements - and re-enact the sword fighting scenes. (I also had a crush on Tinkerbell, but who didn't.)

Still, to this day, I'll easily devote an hour to watching Hook on cable whenever it comes on, because of the command that Robin Williams could bring to any size screen. The combination of his comic genius, versatility, and ability to be universally beloved have been tough to match and may never be again anytime soon. Rest in peace.

Monday, August 4, 2014


After a long, sordid seven years, the Green Bay Packers appear set to finally put the No. 4 of Brett Favre where it belongs – along with the likes of Reggie White and Ray Nitschke in Packers immortality at Lambeau Field.

The organization announced Sunday that an more information would come today regarding the former Packers quarterback.

According to multiple reports, that announcement will not only reveal that the Packers plan to retire Favre’s No. 4 as well as induct him into the team’s hall of fame in 2015. The facility is currently under construction and is scheduled to be completed in April. According to the reports, Favre would then enter the hall in July.

Favre confirmed the report on his official website, calling it a “tremendous honor” to have his name placed among such Packers greats as Bart Starr, Paul Hornung and Vince Lombardi, among others. He added that he’s “truly looking forward to celebrating and sharing this special moment with all of the great fans” in Green Bay.

After nearly a decade away, the aura of the ol’ gunslinger remains omnipresent not only at Lambeau but around the state.

Favre last played for the Packers in the 2006 season, and was traded to the New York Jets in 2007. After spending one season with the Jets, Favre went on to play two seasons with the Minnesota Vikings.

He played 16 seasons for the Packers and in that time he completed 61.4 percent of his passes, for 61,655 yards, with 442 touchdowns and 286 interceptions. He was the heart of the team and the franchise.

There are plenty in Wisconsin who have yet to forgive Favre for the way that his record-setting career with Green Bay ended, and whether or not he is met with boos or cheers, the quarterback will finally be able to put the finishing touches on his tenure with the green and gold.